She knew that she shouldn’t be lost in these thoughts or else it would likely be a downward spiral. SL has been doing so well in the last year or so. She has managed to stave off so much of the sadness that plagued her in the last nine years since she lost her parents.
First her mother who died in the hospital and then her father who died of heartache and loneliness. They left her one after another.
In the deeper recesses of her mind, it used to be “mommy” and “daddy”. But now it’s just “mother” and “father” because it was easier to bear. Initially. But seriously, now she cannot remember when was the last time she referred to them as “mommy” and “daddy”. Perhaps when she was little.
She shook her head hard from side to side as if that would shake off those thoughts and ran to the door to put on her running shoes. She grabbed her keys and bolted out of her house.
SL broke into a brisk jog. She needed to get there as quickly as she could. She was very sure where she needed to be as she ran towards the treadmill. Aahhh yes, this was her refuge.
The gym at her condominium was flanked by four glass walls, three of them looked out into a lush landscaped garden. In the centre of the garden, was a four and a half metres water feature wall. The fourth glass wall faced the swimming pool.
As SL hopped up on the treadmill, she set its speed to one where she was running furiously, panting and perspiring. She didn’t know what speed that was. Anyway, it was always different depending on her mood. She never actually registered the speed or how much calories she burnt or her heart rate or any of those measurements on the treadmill. She just knew that she wanted to run so fast till her heart burst and maybe, it might even be a good thing if she blacked out from the run.